Well…
I’ve been watching
Logo TV’s
Opening night here in NYC…

And I applaud it….

So far so good…

Informative…
Entertaining…
Gay oriented television…

It makes me smile…

Gay people have their own television channel…

I never thought I would ever see the day…

Wanna Fanta…
Don’cha wanna…
Wanna Fanta…

In your costume…
Hot and furry…
Grab a Fanta…
Hurry…
Hurry…

Wanna Fanta…
Don’cha wanna…
Wanna Fanta…
Don’cha wanna…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I don’t WANNA!!!!
Get off my TV!!!!
And get out of my HEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAADDDDD!!!!!
ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Oh the humanity!!!!

*start booty shake*

“Whoa… Whoa… Whoa… Whoa…”

*end booty shake*

Well…
Friends from VT came down for Pride and
I braved the crowds and the heat to hang with them.
I had a great time for Pride weekend…
Even though I don’t normally do the Pride thing…

Sure I’m “Proud”…
But I guess it’s just a bunch of factors
as to why I never really go out of my way for Pride anymore.

First of all…
This is my, like, 10th plus Pride for me…
I feel..
If you’ve seen one dyke on bike giving the finger
to the militant Christian with bullhorn once…
You’ve seen it all…

Second…
The events/parties/gatherings that I would like to attend…
I normally attend anyway in the city…
Except now they charge a cover for that weekend …
Or they charge more…

And Third…
Gay Pride Day turns into…
Gay Shame Night in one fell swoop of fairie dust…

I just don’t understand…

What license is there to act one way during Gay Pride…
That you don’t have during the other 364 day of ones life?

Yes…
Pride allowed me in the beginning
to see that there are other people like me out there in the world…

(And we are numbered strong…)

And to revel in brotherhood…
And celebrate…

But Pride also means to me…

Pride in one’s self as a person…

To respect one’s self…
As well as others…

Yes, enjoy and have fun…

God knows I’m no saint…

But the dangerous areas
that people push themselves into
are nothing to celebrate.

Geez… how the hell did I get up on this soapbox?

It’s Friday Night…

The kick off for Gay Pride here in New York City…

To all the peeps here in NYC…
and to those celebrating Pride where you are…

Be safe…

Be smart…

Have fun…

And have a Happy Pride…

I just came back from Emanuel Xavier’s annual
Glam Slam
and all I have to say…

It was CRUNCH!

crunch (adj.) - slang for cute to the Nth power

example:
I loved the party! I had such a good time. The soiree was crunch.

1 part Vogue Ball…
1 part Poetry Slam…
2 parts “Kiki”.

kiki (n.) - an event where everyone has a good time

example:
I loved the party! I had such a good time. It was such a kiki.

kiki (v.) - 1. to have a good time. 2. to “carry on”

example:
At the party, we sat in the corner, had a couple of drinks and kiki’d.

Great pieces were read (each in their own way)…
But everything was balanced out with snaptastic humor…
(I was in stitches for a huge amount of the night.)

Mother Diva Xavier… turned… the mother f*cker…. OOOOOOOUT!!

(sorry… had a moment there.)

But next year…
If you are in New York…
I highly recommend going to this event…
One of the best times I’ve had every year.

FolsomStreetEast.org
I went yesterday with my friend Dominic…

I’d just like to say…

*turns on bullhorn*

IF I SAID HI TO YOU OR YOU SAID HI TO ME YESTERDAY…
PLEASE REMIND ME…
CAUSE I CAN ONLY REMEMBER BITS AND PIECES…

*turns off bullhorn*

$2 draft beers will do that to ya, ya know…

I had a good time…
I think…

I also ended up going dancing after…
So in other words…

I’m shot…

I have no idea how I made it through work this morning…

oh…
one more thing…

*turns on bullhorn*

TO THE GUYS WHO DECIDED TO JACK HAMMER OUTSIDE MY WINDOW THIS MORNING…

WTF!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?

*turns off bullhorn*

I mean… really.

And yes I know it’s Gay Pride month…

But how many times are they going to play
The Birdcage on TV?!?!

There are other Gay oriented movies out there ya know…

Sheesh.

By the way…

Favorite Quote:

Albert:
I was adorable once.
Young and full of hope.
Now, look at me.
I’m a short, fat, insecure, middle aged thing!

Armand:
I made you short?

Brilliant.

It’s not contemplation on the inevitability of Death…

But…

Geez…

Trying to give yourself a “Fauxhawk” is a bitch…

Two mirrors…
A buzzer…
Some string…
And a rubberband…

MacGyver would have been proud…

Continuing from yesterday…

I walked around the dock for a while and took in the town…
Then I ended up back in the Holiday Inn thinking of everything
and most of all…
about myself.

The next couple of days I ended up doing a lot of the family thing…
Going to the beach…
Dinner at the Lobster Pot…
And…
yep…
Whale watching…

But every chance I had, I strayed off by myself…
I took in the sites, the shops, the food, the crafts…
But what I observed the most was the people…
How the guys with the guys and the girls with the girls were just…
Well…
Just being…

well…

BEING.

Comfortable…

Not afraid to express how they feel and who they are.
Fitting in their own skin.
Loving and laughing with another man (or woman)

And I wanted that too…

I also wanted to go back to The Family Jewels…

I walked into the shop…
And there he was…
There was…

Ummm…

“Hi.”
“Oh… hey, how are you doing? Did you find everything ok?”
“Yeah, so far so good… I really like it around here.”
“Yeah. Been working here most of my Summers… but I live in Boston.”

…

“So… What’s your name?”
“Oh… Sorry… Tom. Yours?”
“Mike.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Same here.”

And then we smiled.

I ended up hanging out with Tom all day…
And most of the next.

I learned that he was going to school in Boston and
he had been earning some dough for school working in the shop the past couple of Summers.
He found out that I was going to school in New York and that I was pursuing acting.

We laughed…
We shot the bull…

And I hung on every word…

Every moment…

We eventually ended up “getting together” another day…
But nothing major…
Nothing like the fireworks and rockets you see in movies…
It was really all about the getting together with someone in a place
where being with that person is just…

BEING.

My family and I left a couple of days later…
I said goodbye to Tom before I left…
We hugged and we kissed…
And as I walked away I looked back…

and he was still looking at me.

I don’t think Tom ever realized what he became to me…

Tom became the push that I needed…

The kickstart into “me”…

The affection we shared…
Although not grand…
Was something I wanted to have again…
Something I wanted to explore…

I came to terms with the fact…

I wanted to love another man…

And to do that…
I had to be who I wanted to be
with the many who were around me…

That Fall…
I got back to college and came out to all my friends…

Some were taken back a bit…
But most kept by my side.
I opened the door to the Closet
and strolled out with my hands slung in my pockets…

From then on…
The lines of my life started to connect…
and the picture became more clear…

By coming out, I filled a space in who I was…
And it let me move on into who I am to come…

A continuation from yesterday…

(And as a disclaimer…
remember this happened, like, 10 years ago…
so some things I have to kinda fill in, but in all, I’m scraping it up as it had happened.)

The paved road was straight forward but bobbed up and down…
through small dunes and hills…
On either side lay very New England type houses…
Shutters and porches…
Railings and elaborate trimmings…
Fine wisps of sand powdered the pavement…
The air overhead was a bit grey, but the wind felt good whipping past my face…
I enjoyed the scenery… and began to admire the sites around me…

People pulling up to driveways ready for the weekend…
A elderly lady tooling around one of her planters on her front porch…
Two guys hanging out on their roof deck…
One guy shaving the other guy’s head…

Which for some apparent reason I lingered on for a bit…
Hmmm…
Interesting…

As I came futher into town, the buildings and cottages were more frequent…
And I started seeing more sites and people…
A young man walking his little dog sipping a coffee…
Two middle aged women unpacking their car together…
Two men in tank tops and flip flops… holding… hands?
Two punk like girls… making out… in front of pizza shop?
And I kept seeing rainbow flags and pink triangles everywhere…

Where the hell am I?!?!

Then I heard…

BOOM!!!

Thunder clap!
And it started to drizzle…
Then rain…
Then… It was like someone was pouring a bucket on me…
I ran toward the nearest overhang…

Soaked… I looked around…
I was standing in front of one of many craft shops that lined this street…
Um… “Commercial’ was the name I could see.

My heart was pounding…
Not only from the walk and then dash for cover…
But also coming to the realization of where I was…
I was in a town full of Gay people!
Like some sort of community…
I never was in an entire town…
Districts like Chelsea and the West Village…
Small pieces of such a grand whole…
But this…
This is it’s entirety…

The rain started to let up a bit and I braved going from awning to awning…
Then I just couldn’t decide where to go…
I was like…
I want to see everything!
I want to see everyone!

I stood there poddering, when I felt a somebody just off to the left of me…
I turned and there was this guy…
About 5′9″… stocky… goatee… thrift store t-shirt and jeans… looking at me…
I looked at him…
He smiled…
I smiled back and then looked away… A bit shy…
I turned back slyly and saw he was standing in the doorway of a jewelry shop…
The name was hand painted on the window…
“Family Jewels”?!?!? Okay. Hmmm…
I turned away from the window and looked back at the guy… looking at me again…
I don’t know where it came from but I found myself walking up to him and saying…
“Hey… Um… I just got into town… and I don’t know where to go.”
“Where are you staying?”
“The Holiday Inn.”
“Well the Inn is back that ways a bit. If you want to there is a dock down that way to look at the ships. The Tower is that way.. And Spiritus…”

I kinda lost track here… I just kept looking at his face and the words just kinda trickled past me…

He was… cute.

Then he stopped talking and I snapped out of it…
I said thanks and then started walking towards the dock…
The rain had died down and it was fine to leave the cover of the awning…
As I walked… I had an urge to look back behind me…
And there he was… still there… still looking at me…
Family Jewels… hmmm…

To be continued…