Economic stimulus plan… my ass.
With everything going on in my life.
This situation is just laughable.

I’m in a slightly precarious finacial point of my life.
I’m not going into details…
But still…

So, part of me…
In the back part of my mind.
Goes…
“Well that check from the IRS is gonna help a bit.”

Well recently…
I received a notice basically saying…
Keep an eye out for the check…
Please contact us if it doesn’t come at a certain point…
Yada yada.

Well yesterday I receive an envelope from the IRS.
I go…
Woot.
And head up to my apartment.

I sit down at my desk.
Settle in…
Open up the envelope…
And… BAM.

No check.
Just…
JUST a notice from the IRS saying…
I missed something from my 2006 tax return…
And that I OWE THEM MONEY!

You have got to be kidding me.
I mean…
Really?
Seriously?

If I ever sighed as hard as I did that day…
I don’t know when.

But now looking back.
I just have to laugh.

Money the government has yet to send to me.
Is being sent right back to the government.
With interest.

Irony.
Yup.
In spades… lol.

I recently went to a benefit event for
The Marijuana Policy Project
at the Highline Ballroom in Chelsea.
The organization is one of the key groups
dealing with the policies and politics of legalizing medicinal marijuana
and featured key speakers such as
John Stossel, Michelle Philips (of Mama and Papas fame),
Kurt Loder, and Montell Williams.
The speakers were very profound…
Especially Montell concerning his own medical battles
and upfront usage of marijuana.
(John Stossel on the other hand… was a bit of a mess.
Not only verbally, but dude… use a comb.)
Well, Michelle Phillips ended her presentation
with an introduction of the night’s musical guests…

Nicole Atkins and The Sea.

I had never heard of them before.
But as they continued on with their set…
I had to go up to my friend and was like,

“They are freakin’ good! Like real good.”

Ms. Atkins has an astounding, versatile voice giving you a brilliant blend
of pop rock, surfer tracks, folk pop,
and even channeling the likes of Roy Orbison (on the track “The Way It Is”)
and Gwen Stefanie (on the track “Love Surreal”)
and has the looks very reminiscent of
Susanna Hoffs (of the Bangles) on stage.

I immediately downloaded her album “Neptune City”
(released by Columbia Records) from iTunes
and have been listening to it all this time.

Great summer album.

Here’s a clip of them performing on David Letterman last year
doing “The Way It Is”. Spectacular.
Enjoy.

Just cause…

I know it’s been a while.
A month even.

Since this is the closest thing to a diary I have…
I guess the time is due.

Open letter to the guy I have been dating for the past 2 months.

I almost loved you.
I told you I did.
Cause it was the right thing to say at the time.
But I held back a little bit.
Cause there is always that slight chance that things go awry.

And this is that time.

I was ready.
Like I had said.
These past months with you helped me realize I was ready to settle down.
To finally be with someone for the rest of my life.
And I thank you for that.

And unfortunately…
It’s not you.

I know you aren’t ready…

These past 2 years must have really messed you up.

You being so beat up inside..
So tired…
So emotionally drained…
That you weren’t ready to commit to something.

I’m sorry that person I was willing to settle down with wasn’t you.

I’ve never jelled with someone as much as you.
We’ve finished each other’s thoughts…
We had the same interests…
We were on the same level.

But you weren’t ready.

I would never give up these past 2 months with you.
These were some of the happiest times I’ve had with someone…
In a long, long time.

But you weren’t ready…

I was willing to work things out…
To wait for you…

But you weren’t ready…

You fucked this up…
You really did.
When you tell you’re friends what had happened…
They’re gonna tell you how much you fucked this up…

This could have been one of the best things that could have happened to you..
I was willing to be there for you…
Through thick and through thin…

But you couldn’t do it.

I’m sorry to be so bold, but….

You weren’t ready….

And you missed out.

You really did.

Part of me hopes you realize what you missed out on.
Cause I was willing to go to the line for you…

I really was.

I’m sorry, you weren’t ready.
And I’m gonna miss you.

I might contact you.
Like you said you were willing to do.

But I have a feeling…
I’ll be waiting for you to contact me.

It’s where you are.
If you come to realize what you missed….
Then maybe.
But I know…

I know deep in my heart…
I gave it my all.
I gave up so much of me that it hurts.

And yes…
It hurts.

But I can’t be the one to reach out.
I can’t.

I know…
Deep in my soul this could have been amazing.

I was willing to wait.
To be patient.
To help you through this thing.

But you weren’t ready.

I’m gonna miss you.
I almost loved you.
I hope nothing but happiness…
And peace to whatever that is troubling inside of you…

Cause from the get go…
I wanted nothing but to make sure that you were happy.

Goodbye.
Take care.
And if we cross again.
I hope you see what could have been.

Cause it could have been great…
You and me.

May you find what you seek.

And may I find peace of mind.
Peace of heart.
And a love I deserve.