Just cause…

I know it’s been a while.
A month even.

Since this is the closest thing to a diary I have…
I guess the time is due.

Open letter to the guy I have been dating for the past 2 months.

I almost loved you.
I told you I did.
Cause it was the right thing to say at the time.
But I held back a little bit.
Cause there is always that slight chance that things go awry.

And this is that time.

I was ready.
Like I had said.
These past months with you helped me realize I was ready to settle down.
To finally be with someone for the rest of my life.
And I thank you for that.

And unfortunately…
It’s not you.

I know you aren’t ready…

These past 2 years must have really messed you up.

You being so beat up inside..
So tired…
So emotionally drained…
That you weren’t ready to commit to something.

I’m sorry that person I was willing to settle down with wasn’t you.

I’ve never jelled with someone as much as you.
We’ve finished each other’s thoughts…
We had the same interests…
We were on the same level.

But you weren’t ready.

I would never give up these past 2 months with you.
These were some of the happiest times I’ve had with someone…
In a long, long time.

But you weren’t ready…

I was willing to work things out…
To wait for you…

But you weren’t ready…

You fucked this up…
You really did.
When you tell you’re friends what had happened…
They’re gonna tell you how much you fucked this up…

This could have been one of the best things that could have happened to you..
I was willing to be there for you…
Through thick and through thin…

But you couldn’t do it.

I’m sorry to be so bold, but….

You weren’t ready….

And you missed out.

You really did.

Part of me hopes you realize what you missed out on.
Cause I was willing to go to the line for you…

I really was.

I’m sorry, you weren’t ready.
And I’m gonna miss you.

I might contact you.
Like you said you were willing to do.

But I have a feeling…
I’ll be waiting for you to contact me.

It’s where you are.
If you come to realize what you missed….
Then maybe.
But I know…

I know deep in my heart…
I gave it my all.
I gave up so much of me that it hurts.

And yes…
It hurts.

But I can’t be the one to reach out.
I can’t.

I know…
Deep in my soul this could have been amazing.

I was willing to wait.
To be patient.
To help you through this thing.

But you weren’t ready.

I’m gonna miss you.
I almost loved you.
I hope nothing but happiness…
And peace to whatever that is troubling inside of you…

Cause from the get go…
I wanted nothing but to make sure that you were happy.

Goodbye.
Take care.
And if we cross again.
I hope you see what could have been.

Cause it could have been great…
You and me.

May you find what you seek.

And may I find peace of mind.
Peace of heart.
And a love I deserve.